So your wedding is in the horizon and you are ready to begin the festivities with a kickass bachelorette. Your best friend just happens to be an event planner and is gladly helping you put the event together. And suddenly BOOM!!!!! Reality hits and your frustration level goes through the roof because everything starts to unravel.
Here is what happened:
Maid of Honor is Missing in Action – My maid of honor did not offer to help plan my bachelorette. I reached out delicately but nothing. Neither did anyone else so I ended up planning it myself!
TIP – Find the right person to help you if you can, even if it’s not the maid of honor. It is way cooler when somebody helps and you are just along for the ride!
New Orleans, here we come, or not! – I started planning the bachelorette 7 months before wanting to go to Nola. We put together a great package including air and hotel for $500 / person, a great deal for the perfect bach party. First problem was nobody wanted to commit so early so we didn’t buy the tickets or reserve the hotel. Getting a head count was impossible so by the time people finally agreed, prices had gone way up and it didn’t fit anybody’s budget. Plan B – Miami
TIP – Get a firm headcount and agreeable budget for all invited, Make sure they understand it is your wish come true and give them sufficient time to plan it and pay for it.
It’s MY WEDDING people! – Even though a lot of my friends are married, have babies, etc., I expected them to be present for me, the same way I was for them. This includes both in time and in money, regarding the budget. The reality is that real life interferes. There are 100’s of reasons why somebody might not be able to participate or spend the amount required to do things my way.
TIP – Be realistic and set your expectations low. Make sure the people that you really want there are present by including them in the decisions as to place and budget. Pray the rest will follow but be prepared that they wont, even if you were there for them.
ZIKA – Believe it or not, the Zika virus caused 2 of my BFF’s not to be able to come to my party because they were pregnant. I completely understand but I really wanted them there. Zika is real and it might make some people rethink if your party and even your wedding are worth the risk.
TIP – This is a no brainer. Sometimes things we can’t control happen. If not Zika, it could be a hurricane or something else. Include them in your thought process because shit happens!
The Budget – The most important thing to understand is that pricing for the party or the wedding is always based on a number of people. If that number changes, so does the pricing.
TIP – Explain that from the beginning and make sure everyone understands it so they can commit. Always suggest people add 20% to the budget for variables.
Some real thoughts from the Bride….
My dream bachelorette party might not be feasible due to budget, time and other factors for my bridesmaids. It is sad to have to adjust my wishes to their budgets and time constraints but it’s just the way it is!
Please try to give me at least your best effort as far as scheduling and budget issues. Make sure you treat me the same way I treated you or the way you would expect to be treated in the future.
If nobody helped me with the bachelorette, I wont even think of planning a bridal shower or anything else. Too much on my plate!
I feel alone. I expected more help and sisterhood but it never happened!
Make up your mind ladies and commit. It’s the only way we can get the budget under control and plan a successful party.
CONCLUSION – Things went very differently from what I expected. I really wanted New Orleans and ended up in Miami. Not everyone I wanted will make it. I thought I could count on my close friends but I couldn’t so I ended up doing most of the work myself. I don’t mean to bitch but I needed some loving and I didn’t get it! I hope not to turn into a bridezilla before the wedding!